It's been a quick minute since I last wrote, because things are always so hectic that I barely know which way I am turning around in the wind, let alone have time to write anything. I've been working an average of 12-hours a day four days a week, eight hours a day two days a week, and 6 and a half on Sunday. A sister is on the case for her money!

Needless to say, I am excited about school, but it's expensive trying to get my things down from Michigan to Florida, as well as getting things here. I don't know if I will be where I want to be by the time school starts, but I will have the essentials accounted for. So school is where my focus is right now. I move into my apartment in two weeks.

In getting ready for school, I am doing the usual things to get myself prepared, or the usual since last year and the year before--getting my hair appointments, getting eyebrows done, getting the mani-pedi, working out, cutting out the crazy stuff like soda (four and five cans a day--no lie a sistah was addicted), caffeine (in the South--with all the sweet tea floating around!), and drinking more water. In short, all of the little things that had to go by the wayside to save for school, all the things I didn't have time to see to, and all the things I hadn't thought about.

It's true, I've been doing my Yoga for a while, very lightly, to destress a bit, along with prayer and Christian meditation, but that is for my own calm, not for fitness. It took me a while to find a yoga thing I liked, because some of the spiritual stuff that some enthusiasts believe goes along with yoga is out there, especially since I'm Christian and look upon my spiritual in the light of Christ, but I found some that focused on the movements and breathing. Some of the things are so hard to do, you can't think of anything but breathing, and after a while, your head is empty and you can focus for a while before everything else comes flooding in.

As for the Christian meditation, I'm working my way through the spiritual disciplines using Foster's A Celebration of Discipline. I'm on discipline two--prayer. One was meditation. Meditation is very calming--the simple one I know anyway. I'm sure there are many ways to meditate, but the one Foster suggests in his book that I tried is sitting with palms down, symbolizing setting down, giving problems and cares over to God, and palms up, open and receiving from God. You can concentrate on specific things to give and receive, or keep it general, or not at all. Just the actions and knowing what you mean by them can work. I have issues and requests, though, so I rarely just sit and breathe, lol, God and I have some things to talk on!

I've been going to church regularly and getting my life together in everyway I can think of. Each week, I add in a new ball to juggle--getting up earlier, no caffeine, no soda, less of this, more of that--and, once I'm sure that one is going, I add another--prayer in the morning and at night, Bible study daily, read something everyday. Life is about balance for me in this moment, as much as is possible working like I work.

Praise be to God for leading me this far, and prayer that I keep keeping on in faith and Christian love.

An Almost Grown Woman

So much has happened to an almost grown woman since she last wrote that she doesn't know where in the world to start, except where she left off. You remember how I was talking about how well I had done at Purdue? Well, it was such a good showing they gave me a fee remission that spring, almost $3,000. I became a Zeta Lady, I made new friends, and life was looking fabulous. I came back to Florida to work and it was all good until this time last year.

This time last year, I found out a bunch of my financial aid hadn't gone through. I was short so much financial aid that I could have only attended one semester, at best. I tried to think about what in the world I was going to do, but nothing was really coming to me. Then I thought, I'll go back to Michigan, go to Oakland University, put all this behind me and start over. That was cool for a while, but when I got back to Michigan, it was a mess. I couldn't get transportation to the school, I didn't have the money for books, my transfer of chapters wasn't getting done with the Purdue Zetas. It was crazy. It wasn't working. I wasn't working, literally. I finally had to withdraw a few weeks into the semester.

I sat around for a few months, trying to get myself together and figure out what to do, when I finally broke down and called my aunt for advice. Less than two weeks later, I had a plane ticket back to Florida. As long as I live, I will never forget that. No matter how much she gets on my last nerve every now and then, I can't forget that. Nobody else gave to good curse words if I never got on my feet, save Mom, except my aunt.

So I came back. I started at the group home again the day after I landed. I had done a lot of stuff to establish residency already, like have a driver's licence, but there was still a lot to be done to get me in school and on my feet. So I went to work. I got another job substitute teacher, another job doing policy and procedures. I got a car. I started visiting schools. I got myself a voter registration card and a library card.

After all of that, I found a new school, which I will be attending in the fall. I have an 01 cavalier that had 46,650 when I bought it in March. I have XM in my car. I started working at JC Penney when school let out, and get a 20% discount. Life is again moving on all 4 cylinders.

Life in Florida now is very different than it was before. For one, I attend my own church, I go where I want when I want, and I am moving towards my goals again. Despite all of the uncertainty and all of the struggle, I am still standing. I can still hold my head up. I have done something that would have broken some people. I am paying for everything I own, I am choosing my own destiny, so if I mess this up, I can only blame myself. And that's really grown up.